Some random thoughts on that Avengers Age of Ultron moive. It needed more AC/DC.

I only see about one movie a year that doesn't have a talking animal in it so I may as well write about it when I do.

• It needed more AC/DC.  One of the problems with the current era of super hero movies is that none of them have a theme song.  Not one damn one of them.  Hum Spider-Man's theme.  You can't.  How many times have you seen kids play fighting in their back yard while humming the Avenger's theme?  Zero.  And Tony Robert Downey Jr. Stark was smart enough to know he existed in an era of incompetent film scorers so he brought his own jams.  He brought AC/DC.  Those all-american arena rock jams from the Australian band AC/DC played a big part it setting the tone for Iron Man and differentiating him from the super heroes of the past in Iron Man, Iron Man 2 and the first Avengers film.  But then, Iron Man 3 happened and there wasn't any AC/DC.  And I think Tony Robert Downey Jr. Stark has been in mourning ever sense.  He never seems to enjoy himself in Avengers: Age of Ultron.  And really that's the biggest knock on this movie.  It just isn't as fun as Marvel has taught us these movies should be.  Marvel fed us a formula and it worked.  This time they forgot some of the ingredients.  Just a little AC/DC might have fixed all of that. 
• Or maybe they could have just used the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack.  It would have been cheap but who would complain.  When it works it works. 
• I think that feeling of mourning was all over this movie.  It felt like a swan song for Robet Downey Jr.,  Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner in particular.  We know Downey Jr. is at least back for Captain America: Civil War but for all three of those guys it felt like a last ride.
• Only Chris Hemsworth's Thor seemed to be enjoying himself.  Chris Evan's Captain America seemed to revel in the comraderie of a super team.  As that character should.  
• Scarlett Johansen's Black Widow wasn't having a ton of fun but she's not supposed to.  Dark past and all that.  I think she was just right in every scene or at least as right as the script allowed.  Great work from her.  People can debate that the character could have been given more.  You can look at it from a feminist angle and make some complaints.  But this movie is meant to sell toys to little boys and razors to their dads.  Scarlett did about as much with what she was going to get as possible. 
• Sticking with the ladies for a moment.  Cobie Smulders continues to be great as Maria Hill.  Linda Cardellini is always just right in everything from Scooby-Doo to Mad Men.  I thought Elizabeth Olsen was very good in a very bad role.  She could be a strong contributor to the next films.
• But... sigh.  Scarlett Witch and Quicksliver... I think it it was a bad idea from the start.  Yeah, they have been avengers and if you are bringing Vision into the story you kind of want Scarlet Witch to be there to stand beside him.  But these characters are not those characters from the comics and I guess legally they can't be since Fox has the mutants.  So instead they are a couple of kids that from a fictional country that got "enhanced" by Hydra.  Lame.  Could't they at least be Inhumans?  And what are they ehanced with?  Loki staff magic?  Chitauri slime?  My 13 year old daughter is a big X-Men fan and she was pretty mad about how wrong they got Scarlet Witch and Quicksliver. 
• And speaking of bad ideas; Sokovia.  Ugh.  More like Suck-ovia.  Fake countries are the worst.  Stop it!  Why is there a country of people that look like middle class white Americans that all speak with the same bad movie-Russian accent?
• Yeah, Quicksliver was definelty a bad idea.  And what makes it worse is Fox did Quickslilver better in X-Men: Days of Future Past.  Contratulations Fox.  Marvel should have just cut their loses with Quicksilver. You can't turn vinegar into wine. Congratulations Fox. You and Sony have a combined total of one win against Marvel.  I think that brings the score to 109,342 to 1.  Try to build on it.  Or don't.  Actually, please don't.  Please just go away or get bought by Disney.
• I loved that this movie was not about children.  Eventually we will probably get a child Spider-Man in these things but so far we've been mercifully Harry Potter and Katniss free in the Marvel movieverse. Thank God!
• It was cool to see War Machine and Falcon involved but why didn't Falcon get to play in the helicarrier scenes?  Lame.

I had some more thoughts but life is hard and I got tired/bored before I finished this post.  Sorry. 

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

Other Comics News Parade-O-Links 05192013

(Iron Man #49 cover by Gil Kane.  Stolen from Cover Browser.)

Here are some things I found interesting in the world of minicomics, comic books, graphic novels, small press, self publishing, zines, webcomics, cartoons, digital comics, other, etc. wrestling during the week weeks ending 05052013 05122013 05192013:

 "No one will ever have your life, so tell me what it feels like." -Grant Morrison. 

• Hello brothers and sisters.  Thanks for dropping by.  This is going to be a long weird rambling Parade-O-Links.  I write these things here and there during fleeting moments of free time then try to edit them together over the weekends.  My past few weekends have been busy.  One of my kids had pneumonia.  I was busy with work and got stuck working extra hours.  You know.  Regular life stuff.  It happens.  So, this Parade-O-Links is a combination of what should have been three separate posts.  Some of this news is old news but, in a way, these posts act as an archive or diary of my comics life so I'm leaving the old stuff in.  Thanks in advance for reading what may be a mess.  They can't all be winners.

(Left to right:  Brian Marcus, Supergirl and Jeremy Massie.  Image stolen from Cavalier Comics facebook page.)

• This month started off with another Free Comic Book Day.  I've come to think of FCBD as a holiday.  Maybe the best holiday.  Unlike other holidays, FCBD does not cost me hundreds of dollars.  I get to take my kids out for a free stack of comic books paid for by the fine comic book retailers of America.  Thanks comic books shops!  Thanks to Cavalier Comics of Wise VA specifically.  Usually, I will try to hit more than one comic shop on FCBD but this year my kids were sick so we kept things simple.  The crowd at Cavalier seemed to be pretty strong.  Maybe the most crowded I've seen it on a FCBD.  More ladies and children than I had noticed before.  My kids and I got everything we wanted from the FCBD selection and picked up a few other comics and toys. It was a very good Saturday morning. On the drive to and from the shop, we listened to a mix CD I made of James Kochalka's kid friendly songs.  (Or, basically the James Kochalka songs that don't have curse words in them.  Neigh Neigh and Woo Woo is one of my kids' all time favorite songs.)  I think their were around 50 comics this time.  My kids and I picked up around 40.  I've only had time to read a few of them.  Maybe I'll find the time to talk about those comics soon.  My mom read the Walking Dead comic and liked it.  
• The Brooklyn Comics and Graphics Festival is over.  This is most likely because I can't stand the word "Graphics" and I put a curse on it when I was a boy.  Sorry.  (It makes me think of skin graphs.  Shiver.)

• AOL, a company that once made money by mailing people "free" compact discs... apparently still exists.  But worst of all they murdered the entire staff of  Comics Alliance.  (We've not seen the bodies, but trust me, they are dead.) And it was the worst kind of murder.  Death by brand management.  In an exclusive Wall Street Journal interview, top AOL assassin "brand manager" Susan Lyne paused from chewing on the flesh of Chris Sims long enough to swear that she would personally murder every comics blogger in North America by the end of the fiscal year.   This my friends is what your death will look like. The last thing you will ever see. 

• Iron Man 3 came out a while back.  I guess it's a big deal and all.  Jim Rugg drew an Iron Man thing here.  I still have not seen it but I can already tell you that what I like most about it is that it does not have a subtitle and that the words "rise of" and/or "rises" are not in the title.  Iron Man was pretty much my favorite thing on Earth (other than Star Wars) when I was 13.  I sure knew a lot about how to make a billion dollars in the international box office when I was thirteen.  In fact, I look at the whole pop culture world right now this instant and it looks exactly like the posters on my bedroom wall when I was thirteen.  However, my tastes in movies and music started to get a bit weird when I turned 17 so get ready for some crazy stuff in 2017 ya'lls.

(The greatest drawing of all time.)

• Dean Trippe recently drew the greatest drawing of all time.  Wil Wheaton mentioned it here.  I don't know if you can see this or not because maybe facebook hates you but here is a process video thing of the greatest drawing of all time. 
• Mike Dawson drew the 100% true history of Wham!
• Tom Spurgeon went to Stumptown and wrote 100,000 words about it. 
• Doctor Venom and Cobra Commander had this crap figured out 30 years ago. 
• There is an increasing amount of good indie and alternative stuff on Comixology.  Maybe you should look into finally getting one of those computers. 
• This Infinite Corpse thing is looking good.  Some of my fave comics peeps are already in there. 
• Unless you’re Scott Kurtz. Seriously. Fuck that guy.
• Paul Pope draws books. 
• Ed Kramer, still creepy, still gross.  If you see me at a con someday, buy me a drink and ask me about Dragon Con.  

• We are all going to die. 
• I'm sad to see that Demon Knights is coming to a close.  I like that comic for several reasons.  It has Jack Kirby's The Demon it.  It's not a super hero book but it is a team book.  And mostly because Robert Venditti writes good comics.  The book has been getting better and better.  Bummer. 
• Pfft.  That's how I make sandwiches. 
• Writing about super hero comics is easier.  You don't have to explain what they look like.  They look like super hero comics. 
• Writing about this sort of thing takes a bit more work.  Because, well Jesus, just look at it. 
• Real text message from my future ex-wife on the occasion of our fifteenth wedding anniversary this past Friday.  "Thanks asshole.  I don't want to hear from u or see u today.  Got it?! GOOD!"
• Go look at these rad robot benches J. Chris Campbell made. 




• Diane Nelson now has a new guy to whom she must explain just what the F exactly she had to do with Harry Potter. 
• DC Comics Entertainment thanked Grant Morrison for carrying them around on his back for the past 20 years by making some cookies with comics are painted on them. 
• Chester Brown had a birthday recently.  Chester Brown is the best.
• I don't know.  It's hard to say really.  But in the whole of this life I've loved maybe two women.  I married one of them.  And the other, I never even held her hand.   
• Ya know Ike, if only you could get rid of all the actors.  Animation! You could pay to have someone draw the characters in!  That's genius.  Oh, if only you had access to to a movie studio THAT WAS MUTHERDUCKING BUILT ON ANIMATION!
• Adams only seems to have once really gone soft-porn.
• The great Howard Chaykin on the great Carmine Infantino. 
• I think one thing the older generations had over us was the ability to unashamedly hate someone.  We really need to work on that.  We can all do better.  Each of you, I'm calling you out, all of you, you need an enemy.  Focus!  What can you do today to make an enemy?  Maybe you have to turn heel.  Maybe you need to slap some random Eisner nominee in the mouth at your next con.  Seriously people.  When was the last time you saw someone freak out and flip a table in artists alley.  We can do better. 
• I am done with you and I feel awful. 
• Remember last year when I told you that history would mark those Kevin Keller comics as the most important comics of 2011?  I continue to be right.  Same as always. 
• Maybe you should go to Spartansburg and check out Ashley Holt's hair art. 
• New hockey comics from Rob Ullman. 
• Hateball tour 1993 Athens GA USA. 
• If you are into manga then I guess you already know about this. 
• Speaking of manga.  Sports Illustrated continues to be the leading source of comics journalism in all the world. 
• Okay, listen: I agree with the words up above that happened to make sense, but -
• Jon. Fucking. Hamm. Is. Not. A. Nerd.
• "This wasn't a fight between Star Wars fans and Doctor Who fans with lightsabers and sonic screwdrivers drawn," 
• I'm now going to type some words that may or may not make sense and may or may not be part of a cosmic spell to make the Earth's core rotate in the opposite direction every third Tuesday-  Derek Ballard is going to be drawing a Shia Labeouf written comic.   (Derek Ballard is the real deal ya'll.  This comic will be great.)
• Ballard also wrote about every comic he read in April.
• Hayhurst had been patrolling nightly for about a year before his mother saw him on TV and found out about her son’s alter ego. He said she was “a bit shocked” but accepted his nighttime gig.
• I got your voice repeating endlessly.
• Could you guide me in?
• Could you smother me?

• That time Batman stopped murder with pants.
• But still I'd leap in front of a flying bullet for you!
• I only got my name I only got my situation.
• I just need my number and location.
• Never ever listen to the fans.  Only listen to the customers. 
• And maybe your mother. 
• But that's it.
• Generation X is sick of your bullshit.
• Please send him an email. 
• If you live long enough you'll see all the tyrants sainted.  No one gets to sound clever by agreeing with history. 
• When you walk in the room everything disappears.
• When you walk in the room it's a terrible mess.
• And finally...Peter was such a loving dog.

Oh, and one more last thing!  Did you know you can leave comments on these posts here at file under other?  It's true!  And, I'll probably respond.  Twitter and facebook killed the message boards but that's no reason why you can't argue with me, praise me or leave me recipes.  It's your intronet.  Have fun!

And that's just a taste of some of the interesting things going out there in the wonderful world of comics and things. I can't keep up with it all but I do keep up with a lot of it on twitter and I try to re-tweet the good stuff. You should probably follow me there. If you did something to make comics better this week then high-five!

Your best pal ever,

Shannon Smith

p.s. Say you want a leader but you can't seem to make up your mind. I think you'd better close it and let me guide you to my twitter feed.
p.p.s. Let's pretend we went to high school together on facebook.
p.p.p.s. Google + is another place you can read the same thing I posted here.
p.p.p.p.s. I'll tumblr for ya.